THE GRAND RAPIDS PRESS LIFESTYLES

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When I saw how the moron had parked, I yelled, "You idiot!"

My winter driving style for getting out of my driveway is "rev it and ram it," but some jerk's mini van was sitting on the other side of the street across from my driveway -- halfway into the street because of snow buildup -- cramping my style.

It's Fifth Third River Bank Run training time, and I hope you'll join me for a very fun race on Saturday, May 9, 2009. Help represent sporty artists and crafters so we don't lost in a sea of thousands of runners who will race 5K, 10K and 25K distances.

Training for this race is a great way to get in shape and push yourself toward a new personal goal. Think it over for a couple hours, then sign up tonight.

Press Photos/Lance WynnMembers of the St. John Chrysostom Russian Orthodox Church at 40 National Ave. NW celebrate the Russian Orthodox Christmas Wednesday morning.

Long after most people have taken down their Christmas trees, members of St. John Chrysostom Russian Orthodox Church celebrated the holiday Wednesday.

Daniel Vosovic

Hey 'Project Runway' fans! I have a little treat for you over at my CraftSanity blog.

I just posted a podcast interview with Daniel Vosovic, West Michigan's own up-and-coming fashion designer and finalist from season two of the reality fashion show.

Press photos/Paul L. Newby, IIVegetarian steak: Chef Josef Huber combines grilled cauliflower steak with mung beans, lemongrass coconut sauce, pickled vegetables and kaffir lime oil.

Amway Grand Plaza executive chef Josef Huber refused to settle for the predictable. So, he changed his life for three months and, as a result, found himself in the pages of a new cookbook featuring top chefs.

It all started during the Vegetarian Awakening Conference 18 months ago, when the best vegan chefs in the country gathered at Grand Rapids Community College to teach plant-based cuisine.

There, author and photographer Linda Long connected with Huber, who oversees the Amway Grand's restaurants and room service, as well as food for events in DeVos Place and special occasions for the DeVos and Van Andel families.

Huber captivated Long with his creative vegan cooking.

"Linda's been a vegan for a very long time, about 25 years, so when she stayed at the hotel, she wanted vegan food," Huber says. "She was really surprised by some of the food we made, but I must admit some of it wasn't very good. So I challenged myself to go vegan for 12 weeks."

Press Photo/Adam BirdCook's secret: The key to Dave Featherston's pork schnitzel is in the pounding and the coating -- tenderizing it with a mallet, then smothering it with flavor.

Dave Featherston

Spritzed with fresh lemon, Dave Featherston's German pork schnitzel is tender, flavorful and easy to make.

"I love to cook and enjoy trying different things," said Dave, who lives in Rockford. Because he often travels overseas for business, Dave likes to sample a country's traditional cuisine beforehand and then looks for recipes he can make at home.

"Schnitzel is pretty common in most German restaurants, so I wanted to try it before I left," said Dave, a packaging engineer for Meijer.

The key to making a tender schnitzel is pounding pork loin chops with a mallet until thin, then coating them in flour, egg and bread crumbs. Fried in butter and olive oil, the schnitzel cooks quickly, turning a nice golden brown.

I have had a number of comments and questions from people who would like ideas on how to get back to more simple cooking to save money. Until now, some of these folks have relied heavily on frozen meals, "helper" boxed meals or take-out meals.

One place to start getting basic cooking skills up to speed is the "Recipe Central" Web site of the University of Nebraska-Lincoln Extension.

The site starts with a recommended pantry list called "Basic foods for fridge, freezer and cupboard." Newer cooks will want to have the these foods on hand to pull together a healthy meal.

Baked apple pancake: Apples can be prepared the night before.

For my 4-year-old daughter, Jacqueline, the breakfast of her dreams is pancakes -- fluffy, syrupy disks meant for a dawdling morning. Not minutes before rushing out the door on the way to preschool.

Sure, I could cook up a batch of pancakes on the weeks to freeze for preschool mornings, but there's something sensory about flipping out pancakes wonderfully hot and toasty from the griddle.

With school resuming Monday, I sought to make her childhood dreams come true. I began experimenting with the perfect German pfannkuchen, or baked pancake.

"My new digs."

That's it. I give up. Unable to find the perfect pair of winter boots, I've decided to bid adieu to this crummy season altogether. As such, I have accepted a job at the Boca Raton Museum of Art in Boca Raton, Florida. It's a gorgeous, thriving facility in a beautiful, soon-to-be-sweltering location.

Perhaps you missed the big news in biblical discoveries. You've been busy, I know.

But we can reveal here, the finding of a ninth beatitude, previously unknown, now added to the eight from the Sermon on the Mount, in which the Lord urges followers to be meek and inherit the Earth and be poor in spirit to match the realities of your wallet.

At least that's the modern interpretation.

Now add this: Blessed are the pilemakers, it begins, for they will have access to all things, which must be here somewhere, just give me a minute.

Lonely Planet's "Best in Travel 2009" started it with "850 trends, destinations, journeys and experiences for the year ahead."

The fantasy travel flame has been fanned for foreign-travel wannabes who have been watching the dollar gain strength against the euro, and domestic dreamers who are encouraged by falling gas prices and deals, deals everywhere.

Press Photo/Jennifer Ackerman-HaywoodYouth librarian Morgan Doane, of Grand Rapids, poses with the Blythe dolls that serve as models for the party dresses she makes and sells online to collectors around the world.

As a young girl, Morgan Doane spent many hours crafting with her mom and styling Barbie and Strawberry Shortcake dolls.

"I was a doll maniac," she said. "I had 7 million Barbies."

Fast forward two decades and Doane, 27, of Grand Rapids, still is crafting and playing with dolls. The difference is she makes money at it. A lifetime of experience is paying off in the form of a crafty side business -- selling handmade doll dresses online.

Press File PhotoAuthor of "Stealing Buddha's Dinner," Bich Minh Nguyen, right, writes about her family members, from left,father, grandmother and stepmother throughout her memoir.

Junk food, including Ho-Hos, Twinkies, Pringles, Kit Kats and Tollhouse cookies, was part of the "exotic landscape" of which Vietnamese refugee Bich (pronounced "Bit") Minh Nguyen wanted to partake.

"I thought these foods were so American in a very essential way," she said. "If I surrounded myself with those things, then I could ignore who I really was."

Winter not cold enough? Then chill with Laura Benedict's latest mystery-thriller, "Calling Mr. Lonely Hearts." It will give you goose bumps.

Benedict, a former West Michigan resident, follows the pattern established in her debut book, "Isabella Moon." She delivers a sensational opening, followed by layers of plot twists and a mysterious ending.

The difference between "Isabella Moon" and "Lonely Hearts" is that, while the debut book is a tale of ghosts, the latest is a story of demons -- personal demons as well as the unholy kind.

Courtesy PhotosIn search of game: Steven Rinella rows a boat in south-central Alaska.

National Public Radio called Michigan native Steven Rinella an "extreme outdoorsman."

To tenderfoot city types, it might seem extreme to shoot a buffalo alone, carry the carcass down a mountainside and float it down a white-water canyon in the midst of grizzly bears and wolves (see current book, "American Buffalo") or to eat a three-day meal of animals he caught or raised himself (see previous book, "The Scavenger's Guide to Haute Cuisine"), or to walk 1,500 miles through Idaho and Montana following the trail of an American Indian war (next project).

Rinella doesn't feel extreme, though.

"I know a lot of guys who are more extreme, that's for sure," he said.

Many homeowners this year will update their homes by taking on do-it-yourself projects using green, environmentally friendly materials.

Are you green enough?

It is an odd question, certainly, when asked outside the context of St. Patrick's Day.

Get used to it; we'll continue to ride the groundswell of green into 2009 as environmental stewardship permeates every facet of day-to-day living. But it will be tempered by the Go Lean movement -- a byproduct of economic uncertainty.

What does that mean for the average household? More home-grown produce, less store-bought extravagance and no weekends financed on credit cards.

Furniture will be smaller and multifunctional, interiors will make greater use of Earth-friendly products from bamboo floors to clay-coated walls, and harnessing the sun's energy will become cost-effective.